Drowning

What do you do when you feel like you're drowning and struggling to be an active member of the world? I honestly don't know. Lately I have been struggling to do anything. I did actually run the dishwasher today. That's one thing I was able to accomplish. But overall, I just want to lay in bed and pretend the world doesn't exist. It doesn't happen often, but when it does it's hard to feel like me. I don't know what else I can do to erase this issue. I do take a daily mood stabilizing pill to help, but for me it really does feel like I occasionally am just playing a part while I still feel like I'm a ghost floating through life. 

I was also just diagnosed with a hereditary degenerative disease. My mom had it and now I know that I do. I have a great team of supporters and doctors, but seriously? Can't I have one great thing going on in life. I was truly hopeful that I would escapte the misery of this disease, and not potentially pass it on to my children, but they are both now have a 50/50 chance of having this disease as well. It sucks. The pain can be really challenging.

Sorry for this post to be so 📉, but I just have a lot on my mind and I need to get it out of my head. It's not like anyone reads these anyway.