Step three to being more confident is to consider the people that surround you.
Do you find yourself starting your day off well, then somehow you end up feeling depressed, disappointed, or disenchanted? Did you wake up this morning feeling like the world was your oyster and then it seems as though it suddenly change?
This may not be your fault!!
I would go to my classroom each day with a smile on my face feeling relatively excited to start each new day. Some times, I would see other coworkers in the hallway and I would start to fade in my positive mode. Many people we are around each day are the typical
Negative Nancy, Debbie Downer, or Pessimistic Patty.
Regardless of the obvious gender issue that I see with these phrases, we all know some of these people. I, at times, have been one or more of these people. I try to avoid it, or if I know I am feeling that way I will avoid others. I don't like having a negative impact on others. I know that I have a precarious mood at times and I don't want other people to perceive my negative moods and then cause them to feel influenced.
If the people with which you surround yourself are typically negative people, then you will likely feel that negativity and it will begin to ooze out of you. You may not intend it to happen, but it can. This is definitely not a good way to boost your confidence.
Surround yourself with people that are positive. I know that this may seem difficult, but it is possible!! There are more positive people out there than you originally thought!! You have that potential. I think Sandi Krakowski said it best:
You are in control of yourself. You may not be able to control the thoughts and actions of those around you, but you make the choice to continue to be around them. I learned, when I was walking through the school hallways, to not stop and talk with anyone that appeared to be having a negative day. I made the choice to continue walking down the hallway and to smile at the others around me to make both them and I feel better. I would greet people, there is no reason to be rude, but I wouldn't stay and chat. It doesn't make sense to allow someone else around you to suck out your positive energy. I believe that we all have a positive energy. We just have to tap into it. If you are not a morning person, this may be more difficult than not, but regardless, once you are up and moving, you may as well try to find some joy in the day.
I have a friend that I love talking with. She is very much a
carpe diem type of friend. She is the one I call when I need a lift. I only met her two years ago, but she is very much my best friend. She emailed me the other day a list of positive traits about me because I couldn't list them for myself. She made me cry in a very good way. She helps me to strive to be more in the moment. I hope that we can all find a friend like that!
I think Bobby McFerrin said it best though:
Don't Worry, Be Happy
Final Note: The last thing I want to say is that depression is a very real issue. I have battled with it my entire life. In fact, fighting it was what prompted me to begin looking at what I needed to do be feel more confident. Depression makes me feel like a
less than ideal person loser. I feel like I am useless and worthless. Therefore, I decided to start researching how to be more positive and how to be more confident. Then, I opted to write about it. I can only hope that if you are battling depression, you are able to write about it and find the positive. There are times when that is impossible. When you get to that point, please know that there is absolutely
NOTHING wrong with talking to a therapist. Furthermore, if you feel that there is nothing else for you and you want to end it all, PLEASE call 1-800-273-TALK (8255). There is always someone. There honestly is.