I've been feeling down lately. Really down. Not like myself. It kind of scares me. I have that "I just want to roll over and go back to bed for a while" feeling. I don't get that way often, but when I do, it's hard to break the funk. I'm trying to figure out what I need to do to stop it. The fact that Sean is going to be gone for the next four days isn't helpful either. I think I just want to cry for a little while. Perhaps that is all I really need to do. Cry for just a little bit. Maybe then I'll feel better, but I doubt it.
I just need to break the mood. Any suggestions on what I can do for that? I don't really care what they are, I just need to try something. I'm frustrated that I'm so lame. I don't even know what the word is that I'm looking for. I'm just not me right now, and I need to find me again and fast. This behavior isn't positive for anyone in my family and I hate my children seeing me like this. I shouldn't have sat around in my PJs all day today, but I did. I just didn't have the desire to get dressed. The only reason I did was because Miss E had her new gymnastics class today (at which she did AWESOME!).
My home is turning into a mess, and Sean is frustrated with it. He deserves to be. There's no excuse. I just can't do it.
GAH! I hate me right now.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Friday, July 3, 2009
Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes
Changing is a good thing. It is required for personal, physical, mental and spiritual growth. If you are not changing, then you become stagnant and old, moldy and icky. Noting that, I have been going through many changes. Some of these changes scare the bejeebers out of me, others just make me happy.
First, I am teaching again next year. After things changed at Bubba's school, he was doing so much better and he and we decided that he would go to 3rd grade at his school. So, I will be teaching another year. This means that I will be switching to 8th grade next year. I'm terrified. These kids are so difficult in 5th grade, WHAT are they going to be like in 8th?? The gangs in the district are frightening and the particular school where I will be is having a principal change this year, so that means either good or bad things for the students and teachers.
I would also like to add that I only have 5 weeks of my summer left. I've only had 3 weeks so far. Teachers don't have it made like so many think. The only reason that I have that much time, is one of my trainings was cancelled. That's right, they take our summer for training.
I did interview for a position within the school district where I live, however, they opted to go with someone else. So that change is non-existent. At least I got the interview I suppose. I really wanted to work here though.
I cut off all my hair. Okay, not ALL but a lot. I went really short. I like it a lot. It's a big change for me, because, as Sean so kindly put it. I "haven't looked like that since high school". That pleases me. I'll post a new pic of me.
I am currently in school as well trying to obtain my Master's degree. It's only week three of a two year program. I am trying to remember WHY I wanted to do this. I love school, I'm very proud to be earning another degree, I just feel so tired right now, that I don't want to do anything with school. I'm in summer darn it. I want to enjoy what I have left. But this program won't let me do that. This first class ends the week that school starts and the next class begins right after that. No break. I guess this is how normal people do work. All the time. I just like having the summer to be.
I also had a very drastic change for me. It's not something that I haven't been running around and telling everyone about, or showing for that matter. I had something done for me. A little plastic surgery. The great thing is, now I can buy clothes and have them fit me! Right away! No having to alter, or just give up and put it back. I'm very pleased with the results.
So a lot of changes going on in my world. I'm not sure how I'm going to handle them, but I'm trying my best to be postive about them. Particularly my employment. It's difficult to feel good about working at a place where you have heard almost nothing but bad things. It really makes me anxious. Perhaps, I will be an active writer again, as I blabber on about things that no one cares about. You never know. It could be good reading, though I doubt it.
One other change...
I'm writing a book in my *cough* spare time. It's not a long book, it's just ideas right now, but I told my daughter a story and she loved it so much, she asked me to tell it to her again and again. So I decided I would write it down. At the very least, I can say I've written a book.
OK, done rambling....
Really.
First, I am teaching again next year. After things changed at Bubba's school, he was doing so much better and he and we decided that he would go to 3rd grade at his school. So, I will be teaching another year. This means that I will be switching to 8th grade next year. I'm terrified. These kids are so difficult in 5th grade, WHAT are they going to be like in 8th?? The gangs in the district are frightening and the particular school where I will be is having a principal change this year, so that means either good or bad things for the students and teachers.
I would also like to add that I only have 5 weeks of my summer left. I've only had 3 weeks so far. Teachers don't have it made like so many think. The only reason that I have that much time, is one of my trainings was cancelled. That's right, they take our summer for training.
I did interview for a position within the school district where I live, however, they opted to go with someone else. So that change is non-existent. At least I got the interview I suppose. I really wanted to work here though.
I cut off all my hair. Okay, not ALL but a lot. I went really short. I like it a lot. It's a big change for me, because, as Sean so kindly put it. I "haven't looked like that since high school". That pleases me. I'll post a new pic of me.
I am currently in school as well trying to obtain my Master's degree. It's only week three of a two year program. I am trying to remember WHY I wanted to do this. I love school, I'm very proud to be earning another degree, I just feel so tired right now, that I don't want to do anything with school. I'm in summer darn it. I want to enjoy what I have left. But this program won't let me do that. This first class ends the week that school starts and the next class begins right after that. No break. I guess this is how normal people do work. All the time. I just like having the summer to be.
I also had a very drastic change for me. It's not something that I haven't been running around and telling everyone about, or showing for that matter. I had something done for me. A little plastic surgery. The great thing is, now I can buy clothes and have them fit me! Right away! No having to alter, or just give up and put it back. I'm very pleased with the results.
So a lot of changes going on in my world. I'm not sure how I'm going to handle them, but I'm trying my best to be postive about them. Particularly my employment. It's difficult to feel good about working at a place where you have heard almost nothing but bad things. It really makes me anxious. Perhaps, I will be an active writer again, as I blabber on about things that no one cares about. You never know. It could be good reading, though I doubt it.
One other change...
I'm writing a book in my *cough* spare time. It's not a long book, it's just ideas right now, but I told my daughter a story and she loved it so much, she asked me to tell it to her again and again. So I decided I would write it down. At the very least, I can say I've written a book.
OK, done rambling....
Really.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)